My final sixteen takes on every single NBA team after the 2019 offseason
If you missed Part 1, click here to catch up!
Memphis Grizzlies – Wasteland
Memphis actually found two players in Marc Gasol and Mike Conley who wanted to stay in Memphis through the prime of their careers, and promptly traded them both away. Granted, both have peaked and will now begin to gradually decline, but just where are they ever going to find another player, let alone two, who actually wish to re-sign with the team?
Miami Heat – Wasteland
Yeah, I know they have Jimmy Butler. I don’t care. Jimmy’s gonna Jimmy, which means he will score a bunch of points, lose a bunch of games, and generally enjoy being a rich single dude in Miami. But, the Heat won’t amount to shit until they eventually move him.
Continue reading “The NBA Landscape: Basketball Paradise or Just Another Wasteland? (Part 2)”
Where does your team play?
I have heard some opinions of the NBA’s upcoming season, and the most overwhelming opinion is that the league finally has some parity. There will finally be a season in which multiple teams have a chance to compete for a championship, instead of just the same one every season (Warriors).
But is that the case? I decided to dig a little deeper into each NBA franchise, to discover just how many actual basketball paradises exist in today’s NBA, in comparison to the death rattles heard from still way too many basketball wastelands.
What exactly is a basketball paradise? It’s a city in which professional basketball will be most enjoyed. A city in which the audience is benefiting from exclusive VIP treatment and pampering from the league.
A wasteland is exactly how it sounds. The NBA and it’s audience have forgotten all about you and your basketball team. All that remains in this bitter desert of pain and despair is your skeleton covered in dust and wearing your favorite player’s jersey.
I’ll also be determining which teams are mediocre. You don’t want to be this either.
Continue reading “The NBA Landscape: Basketball Paradise or Just Another Wasteland? (Part 1)”
One year ago today, Rob Pelinka and Jeanie Buss could do no wrong. Now, everyone is calling for their jobs. What happened? Well, July 9th 2018, the Lakers signed Crazy.
It’s not hard to recognize crazy, but we sometimes ignore the signs. We ignore them because even crazy can make you feel good. It could be laughing with you at a bar. Smiling with you on vacation. Sleeping with you in your bed. Making you dinner while you watch TV.
Sounds nice, doesn’t it?
When you become this comfortable with crazy, all of the red flags you saw before become a distant memory. You’ll even find yourself sticking it out with crazy, until you walk out for work one morning to see that your car has “I’M PREGNANT” keyed into it and say to yourself:
“Ohhh… Yeah, that was a bad idea.”
Because crazy only rests. It never goes away.
So, why would the Lakers think their franchise was any different from Cleveland or Miami? Why did I think things would be different this time around? It’s not like all of this dirty laundry was in a room somewhere, away from the public eye. We were all witnesses, after all.
Continue reading “LeBron James Is Crazy”
What? I’ve got a lot of stuff to cover.
October 21, 2018 – LeBron James makes his Hollywood debut, but it was overshadowed by a rumble- of sorts -when Rajon Rondo popped Chris Paul in the mouth for being Chris Paul. Both players were suspended, as was Lakers teammate Brandon Ingram, who, having observed Paul’s violent reaction to being sucker punched, inserted himself into the altercation to defend his teammate. A teammate he had known for all of one month.
That seems so long ago now.
Continue reading “The Lakers Trade Deadline, How Good Teams Fight, and My Tweets With Scot Pollard”
Recently, the NBA has promised to “crack down” on reckless closeouts and creating contact during shots. Commissioner Dan has a few ideas of his own.
A new NBA season is on the way, and with it, a season chock full of fantastic plays, broken records, and hopefully an NBA championship for your favorite team (if they happen to be the Warriors). But along with all these great things come a host of issues we’d love to forget. Each year, the NBA comes in with the same mentality: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Even in a financially lucrative sport like football (say what you will about Goodell), the sport is constantly trying to improve itself. Why is basketball so stagnant? It’s not like there isn’t an outcry for changes. What to do about watching a Clippers/Hornets game, where both teams put the opposing center to the line 40 times a game, in hopes they will be subbed out? How about eliminating teams the ability to stack themselves so high with talent, competition becomes obsolete? Commissioner Silver has so far avoided even a fraction of the scrutiny David Stern encountered during his reign, but that doesn’t dismiss the fact he has allowed these issues to fester in the minds of casual and hardcore hoops fans alike.
Introducing, Commissioner Dan. My resume speaks for itself. I’ve been watching professional basketball under a microscope for 20+ years, I own and operate a basketball blog, and I’ve already held the title of commissioner for my fantasy football league for 6 years running; Moreover, I’m not going to sit on my laurels and wait for you to tell me what’s wrong with the current state of the NBA. I already know the problems, and I pledge to resolve them, in three easy steps. Continue reading “Commissioner Dan’s “Three Step Solution””